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Our story is this: I went to the cheapest state school in my state. I worked really hard on any breaks I had to make money to live while at school because I got nothing from my parents (both who make decent livings). So I left college with my degree and about $20,000 in federal student loan debt at 2.4%. It is totally reasonable. On the other hand my hsband came into our marriage with about $76,000 in student loan debt none of which are below 6.5%- his parents contributed nothing. His payments add about to about $950 a month. So all together we pay close to $1100 a month- a mortgage. So we have to rent at $1200 a month which equals to me paying the equivolent of a $2300 a month mortage payment....I could be living large. After all of our bills such as food, one car payment at $300 a month, and utilities we have only $300/ month left over. My husband is 25 and EXTREMELY successful for his age making $80,000 annually. I stay at home with our 2 year old girl- fortunately. My husband makes a really good living on his own and we still struggle month to month. I have thought about working full time but after child care it really isn't worth it and I would like to have one more child so my daughter has a sibling but I often wonder how we could do it. I really hate when people say that my husband or I don't deserve to be "bailed out" because we made bad choices. But lets be honest here folks...my husband an I are both caucasian so we get no grants there. We both had parents who refused to help, and we both knew that in order to have a good life, we would have to go to college. So at 18 how do you pay for $50-70,000? Don't go to school right away and save? Then your chances of ever going are really slim. We let people come into this country and go to school for free yet we can't do it for ourselves? Why shouldn't the TAX PAYERS of this country get free education? And lets be honest there are no classes or education on student loans. High schools and colleges should be educating their student about smart bororowing. And lets not forget the banks an automobile industries get bailed out but lord forbid our hard working citizens get a break. If the government better regulated private loans or if they forgave these loans altogther then I know for my family, I would be able to buy a house, go on vacations, go shopping, and have more kids. All that would stimulate this country's economy.
yo i avoided debt at all but it caught up with at some point of my life, until I bounced right back
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My student loan debt (around $100,000) has destroyed my life.
About 10 years ago I left the country and married a much older man who had money. It was not a love marriage but a way for me to avoid living on the street.
Yeah, my creditors can't get me...but this isn't my idea of happiness. I never thought in a million years that I'd end up like this.
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I’ve spoken with my lender (Wells Fargo) about this and college student loan debt is only the responsibility of the person who took it out (and their cosigner if they have one). It is not something that becomes shared once you are married. Student loan debt is different from other debt (car loans, mortgages, personal loans). It cannot be erased in a bankruptcy.
I have over 120,000 in student loan debt. I have my BA- I went to law school for 1 year but realized that it wasn't for me. My loan payments are about $1000/mo. These loan payments are killing me. My bf & I cannot think about a house or marriage because of my debt.
Hello all,
Every hour of each day of my life contains some level of anxiety about my student loan debts (and other debt). Perhaps a major factor that contributed to my horrible financial decisions is that my parents were probably the poorest example of financial management (I AM NOT BLAMING THEM, just stating a fact). I grew up with young parents who had made many mistakes with their finances (too many to get into). I SWORE that would not be me. In fact, I had worked/earned money practically my entire life so that I could have the "things" I wanted without having to depend on others (i.e. sold painted seashells at the beach at about 6 years old, worked in a Bakery from 14-18, etc.). I spent my teenage years working as much as possible and was able to enjoy the benefits of having cash in my pocket. As a teen and into my early 20s, I felt pretty secure from a financial perspective. Then I was eligible for my first credit card.....
Credit cards to teens: WORSE IDEA EVER! I figured, oh I have a couple of jobs, oh there will ALWAYS BE WORK, oh I can always make more money, etc.......SO I let the spending begin. Now, let me just say that I did not spend for the sake of spending. There were catalogue items I desired, plane tickets to be booked, and when in college, TEXT BOOKS and LIVING supplies to be needed. Into college, the credit card spending increased DRAMATICALLY. My first year of college I went away (mistake, oh yes) and could not/did not work unless I was home visiting and I was able to pick up hours at my previous jobs. Moving out of state, into a dorm, and simply "being a college kid" had cost money that my parents were not offering to dish out (and they shouldn't have). So, when I needed a school supplies, texts, FOOD, etc, Visa was there for me. I figured, well, no problem, over the summer, during breaks, and of course when I am out of school,I can work and pay this off in NO TIME. Dumb. Hey, math was NEVER my forte.
AFter a years away, I changed my major, moved back home and got back to working AND going to school. I purchased a new car so I wouldn't have to continue pumping insane amounts of money into fixing my old one. I needed reliable transport to commute to school and my multiple jobs. I got a handle on my credit card balance, always paid at LEAST triple the balance if not MORe. Then everyone and their mother gave me a credit card, and STUPIDLY, I accepted for reasons I still don't know. My credit limits were INSANE and I was well below maxing out. Interest was relatively low as well.
My credit card companies must have been psychic and saw my future disasters coming. ANYWAY, as I became more involved in my TEACHING degree program, I was NOT able to work not even a third as much due to student teaching. This is where student loans began to slowly eat away at my future livelihood. My financial aid department showed me how my financial AID PACKAGE was far more than I needed each semester, and that I was able to keep the EXTRA MONEY and use it for student and personal expenses, and WORRY ABOUT IT LATER, and all would be well because 1) rates were LOW, and 2) by time I had to pay it back I would SURELY have a well paying career. And this is where my hell TRULY began...
My undergrad program was INTENSE and my school was quite expensive. I also took longer than 4 years to complete a Bachelors and a teaching license. Money was TIGHT and my parents were broke, so I relied on loans to help pay car insurance and other expenses (as well as pay credit cards).
Then an opportunity to study abroad for a summer. Extra money needed, welcome student loans. I studied and traveled abroad, hoping to broaden my horizons, become cultured, and make myself more of an asset to any future employer because I had "life" experience. During studying abroad, we travel A LOT with our professors and cash was NEEDED just for FOOD and other expenses abroad that were not included in the study program fees. Here comes the Visa, MAstercard, and Discover.....
I finally finished my Bachelors degree but felt I should travel as much as possible before getting a "real" job and career. Moreover, I wanted to complete a Masters degree BEFORE starting a full time teaching gig because I knew as a new teacher it would be TOO demanding. So, after my Bachelors, I got low-paying jobs in schools substitute teaching, working as a tutor, teacher assistant, etc. These jobs still offered summers off and I traveled quite a bit. Most money was earned and saved but honestly, I DID ReLY on that pesky "extra" student loan money. I genuinely convinced myself that 1) I would get an awesome job and pay it back, 2) that traveling is ESSENTIAL in life and is an asset when seeking a teaching position ( I thought I was marketable and "more interesting" than the average sheltered Joe/Jane), 3) I didn't really have a clear picture of INTEREST and how much loans would really become (I REALLY HAD NO UNDERSTANDING and NO ONE-- though they were supposed to "advise me" --- made it clear to me just exactly what I was signing on those loans contracts). So, more debt.
Then I went and got a Masters at another expensive University. Books, fees, and of course the classes, as well as all my teacher certification exams and state fees, all were paid for by LOANS. I did work through my masters with the above mentioned jobs that didn't pay so well but were not too demanding.
Then I wanted to fill a LIFELONG DREAM of living and working in Australia prior to committing to a teaching career here in NY. SO, just before completing my Masters, I took a semester off and went abroad. Yes, you guessed it, partially funded it with extra loan money. I immediately got a job abroad that paid relatively well but I never factored in the COST of LIVING (I had lived with my parents my whole life). So, money got SUPER TIGHT and of course, VISA was there to bail me out. WHOOPS.
I finished my Masters and then the REALITY HIT. Loans were due and jobs were scarce. Since then (2008), my life has been absolute HELL in respect to finances. I KNOW THAT EVERY DECISION I had made was FOOLISH and uninformed and that I deserved my DEBT after living my life wearing rose-colored glasses. I KNOW THIS, I KNOW IT IS MY FAULT.
Now, I have been in and out of leave-replacement temporary teaching gigs, subbing, etc. I fell further and further into debt when the paychecks got smaller and smaller. Interest kept compiling. I had several periods of unemployment because there SIMPLY ARE NO teaching jobs anymore. During unemployment I had deferred loans and now I owe HEAPS MORE than originally. Last year I FINALLY got a break and got a full-time teaching job and was able to start paying things OFF and be totally responsible, then I LOST MY JOB due to budget cuts. Currently, I am only working part time in a school and am unable to find work. My job is a leave replacement position and come June I am out of a job AGAIN.
I spent hours upon hours a day seeking work but as we all know, there are NO JOBS.
I live my life day-to-day, worrying about what bill I will be late on and how to AVOID defaulting on loans. I am in a constant state of anxiety. These loans have destroyed a relationship (hey, who wants to go into marriage/ a life with someone who is PISS POOR and in more debt than a mortgage?). These loans will NEVER allow me to buy a HOME, and I am not even talking about a HOUSE, I mean an apartment, whatever. I know I will NEVER have children because I REFUSE to raise a child in debt, worrying about money and penny pinching. I refuse to make my child take out LOANS for college and LIFE experiences.My loans have destroyed my life because NONE of my DREAMS will ever be a reality. One of the things I DREAMED of was to teach abroad, around the world in different countries. This is NOT AT ALL possible now with this debt. So, not only am I STUCK here, but job/career-less, alone, with NO SAVINGS, no retirement fund, no health insurance, moving back home with my parents, and in a constant state of worry.
So, student loans-- or the cost of education-- have destroyed my life. YES< I made bad financial decisions. And I am not trying to avoid the responsibility and consequences of bad decision making. All I am doing is venting about how my life is ruined by loans.
I think an awesome option would be that the banks JUST SIMPLY FREEZE MY LOANS SO THAT INTEREST CAN NO LONGER ACCRUE. Then I could pay off my debt. All I can (barely) afford is interest and my debt continues to increase, especially when I defer/forbear them for period of unemployment or financial hardship.
Something needs to be DONE so that future students are not like us, in debt and hopeless.
ironically IBR kind of screwed me out of a house, in a way. due to being qualified as a $0 payment through IBR on my federal loans this first year, the federal mortgage company said they were required to use 5% of my loan balance as a payment. adding $1,300 + to my monthly debt....which blew my ratio's out of the water.....right before closing mind you......FML
So now I have to wait until next year when my federal student loan payment increases to try again.
greetings everyone!
i'm zhivka, i just joined this site about 10 minutes ago, and i'm a sallie mae slave. well, a privileged sort of slave if you will... after all, they've been kind enough to lower my private loan interest rate to meager 4%/annum ever since i buckled down 3 years ago and actually started paying on my loans regularly.
no small amount either, just over $400/month, for a period of the next 20 or so years. in return, i got a masters degree in civil eng. from a branded state university. not a bad deal considering i come from an immigrant family having arrived here from a war-torn country 15 years ago with two suitcases each. but that job thing i thought i'd have post graduation... hmmm, haven't seen it lately.
but don't let my artfully crafted ploy for sympathy fool you. there's much more than meets the eye here.
i've done wrong, and i've done wrong twice. forgive me, master, for i have sinned.
i confess to diverging from the prescribed path every responsible borrower ought to take, and i am here to relate my sins. instead of unyielding devotion, adoration, and (please, let's not forget) *loyalty* - the cornerstone of every fine and thriving capitalist society - to my corporate employer, i dared treat overtime (not to be confused with deadlines) as an option. i dared take 8 day long vacations. i dared (well, implicitly at least) telling the world to wait while i enjoy my 30 minutes of lunch outside instead of in front of the computer. i dared having an "i don't do tricks" attitude. and ultimately, i dared to have sex. with a man. and impregnate myself with his child. i dared abandon the nursery of my careerhood on the busy island of manhattan and move to a midwestern province which is chicagoland, and further dared to reject looking for work upon the baby's arrival until i deemed the child mature enough to only need breasfeeding twice a day.
anyone read that stupid book about "breastfeeding while at work" guide sorta thing? you missed out, and on several levels too. talk about doing tricks. can't wait for "hold your shit while at work to maximize productivity - what we learned from bears in hybernation" to grace the shelves of bookstore chains. thank you, sirs (and ma'ms), but i'll hold out on your fine offer.
hitting the ground running while landing the JOB#2 runway was the command du jour, no doubt. i stumbled some, but the energy was definitely there. until, 10 months and countless "i wanna see you in my office" humiliating lectures later, it was not. i try to suck up, council, i really do, but i just cannot deliver! i dream about finally becoming the quintessential obedient, conspicuous yet exemplary, fervent goal-exceeding employer, but events just turn themselves against me, and i end up in the dunce chair! it's utterly frustrating and i don't know what to do anymore.
i resorted to watching other permanent retainers around me in their grace of relentless bowing and adoration, and the bounds of my imagination shook like a thunder struck them. why, how ever in my mind did it not occur to me that bosses have birthdays? and that it would only be kind of us to take time off of work and go celebrate it with them, while donating $25 (if you only want to go for the bare minimum) to pay for their present?
things like that... unanticipated details like that.
i quit the party eventually, making no demonstrative gestures. quite the contrary, actually, as my personal style invariably mandates.
i haven't had a single job offer since. i've relied on my man to take care of my student loan bill. i cook dinner, tend to his child, launder his walmart clothes... life is simple, but gratifying.
i found my haven - a wood and straw hut in the field of thunder - and i go to sleep every night making sure i count the lag time between the flash and the sound. what's coming up is beyond me...
ironically, Federal mortgage loans do not accept the federal student loan IBR repayment program. they insist on 1-5% of the loan balance to be calculated as a payment. so even if IBR helps you....it can actually hurt you more...i doubt we will buy our house....talk about kicking someone when they are down. if the federal IBR isnt even accepted by the federal mortgage programs.....what is the point?
I realized today that my student loan debt has completely paralyzed my life. Virtually any good vision of my future assumes that somehow I won't have $90,000ish in debt staring back at me. And that is terrifying, because just like with health care, the student loan industry has billions of dollars to buy their legislation from congress--currently they are pressing so hard against the (insignificant by comparison) elimination of feel programs that I can imagine how hard they would lobby against the return of standard consumer protections. Nothing happens and time passes. Today my partner said 'if only there wasn't your problem...' and indeed, that seems to be the footnote of my life. Since I don't own a house or car, and I'm not married nor with children, shouldn't that mean that I would still be a free youngish person? But no, I'm saddled down, and I'm paying huge amounts completely unrelated to my own living expenses, with nothing to show for it.
I live in an apartment. 710 square feet of which is shared with my husband who dropped out of college with minimal debt, and is holding down a nice little job as a security guard. We have been married for a year now, and I am almost 31. I probably won't ever have children. Five years from now, unless I can find a way to pay a substantial amount, I will still be $100,000 in debt due to interest, I will be 36, and my biological clock will be running out unless I want to have kids while in my fourties that won't be out of the crapshack until I am of retirement age.
Having no job and lots of debt means no house. No mortgage is possible. It also means no desperately needed second car. It also means that the cars we buy have to be under $2000. This also means no health insurance. On only one small salary, we don't make enough to make the payments even on the company policy that is offered to my husband.
Essentially it boils down to the death of the American Dream. No House,no car in no driveway, no kids, no money, no health, no life, nothing left to bury us, and every debt left to our nonexistant survivors.
I used to have five year plans, but not anymore.
A house is a pipe dream. I am as likely to buy a house someday as I am to own a Gulf Stream Jet.
I will be lucky to move out of my parent's house this year. I have friends who will only work in cash businesses (like the service industry) just to keep their meager assets in their own hands. People are so far in debt they are being forced off the grid entirely.
I graduated in Dec of 2007. Most of my friends who graduated on time found jobs relatively quickly. But here I am a full 2 years later and I'm a temp. I make a little over $10/hr meaning I have enough to pay my $770 a month to good old Sallie and very nearly cover the cost of driving and food for the month. I'm so grateful to my parents who, at least for the time being, have taken on all of my federal debt which costs about $300 a month. Otherwise I wouldn't even be able to pay all of my loan bills on my salary. No matter how many crying desperate calls I make to Sallie Mae my repayment terms cannot be changed. I've also been turned down for consolidation several times. I'm sure I don't have it as bad as some, thanks to the grace and support of my parents, but when a person is in such a desperate spot they start to feel like they might be the only one. I don't want to say I took delight in your suffering, but it gives me hope to know I'm not the only one struggling under the weight of ridiculously large loans.
The worst part is I have $150,000 in debt and I didn't even like my school. NOT ONE BIT! I can't even say, well at least I had a good time in school. Hang in there everybody, we'll make it through. And if Obama has any sense he'll help us out.
I have a similar group discussion going on in linkedin.com in the official White House group.
Let's work together. There is supposed to be strength in numbers.
Simply start a linkedin.com account (its free), join the White House group, and locate my discussion.
We are working on a questionair that should develop into a petition. We may already have the White House's, President's, attention.
We are working on the same problem. Let's develop greater coordination.
My student loan debt has kept me from doing everything meaningful I've wanted with my life, other than my relationship with my husband (also drowning in student loan debt, if my parents hadn't paid for our wedding after 8 years we still wouldn't be married).
I worked so hard through my entire education, I earned a 3.9 GPA in graduate school. After I graduated, I continued to work hard, working 2 jobs to try to afford all our bills. Finally I was offered my dream job, (the whole reason I got myself into this debt), as a professor, but I had to turn it down because it just didn't pay enough. Now I've been in a job I hate for 3 years, making only 30k/year (I've looked for something that pays better but it just doesn't seem to exist), and the only other thing I want aside from my dream job is to have a child. But I know we'll never be able to afford it.
My federal loans are in forebearance for now, my private loans are on graduated payment plans which brings them to $700/month. My husband's loans are $800/month. We are both working full time (he works full time and goes to law school full time, not because he even wants to be a lawyer but because we're hoping he can find something high-paying enough to pull us out of this debt) and we still have to borrow from our parents each month, as much as they can afford it, which isn't all the time.
At a recent checkup my PCP asked me a standard depression screening question of whether I feel hopeless. I answered yes, and now they want me to take medication for it (which I couldn't afford even if I thought it would help). The difference is, my life really is hopeless. It's not how I feel, it's a fact. We're about $250/month short of all our bills right now, what's going to happen when my graduated payment plan expires at the end of the year and my payments go up to $1400/month? Who has that kind of money?
People have left comments here saying don't wait to start a family just because you think you can't afford it, suggesting defaulting if you have to, but our parents are cosigned on our loans, how could we do that to them?
It just seems like there's no way out. There's a gameshow on tv right now where the grand prize is $100,000. Seems like a lot of money. And then I think, that wouldn't even pay half our student loan debt...
I've been divorced for many years and have raised 3 kids on my own. My 2 younger kids are teenagers and still at home. I met a terrific guy a couple of years ago and we got engaged. Sadly, I told him recently that I can't see this realistically leading to marriage because of my enormous student loan debt and the fact that I'm behind on payments (not defaulted - yet - but seriously behind and trying to figure out how to deal w/it; I'm out of forbearances). I don't want to screw up his good credit w/my disaster. Ironically, he only went to a 2 year college and he's now working as a roofer. He's far more financially solvent than myself, because foolishly, I did 2 master's degrees (was working toward a PhD but settled for the 2nd master's when I couldn't afford to continue any longer). My first master's is a teaching degree, which my state required for the job. I'm a teacher making under 50K a year. My loan payments are $1000 a month. That comes to close to one of my 2 monthly pay checks. Funny (ha ha) that the loan industry doesn't take into consideration what it costs to raise kids on one salary that isn't exactly big. Your cost of living isn't really taken into consideration at all. Anyway, like so many here, I'm probably going to forego a second marriage, despite the fact that I am someone who would love to be married again. It is depressing and like others on here, I sometimes feel so hopeless that I think I'd be better off dead. Having worked so hard to raise my kids, hardly ever able to give them anything beyond basic necessities, knowing they feel unhappy that they don't get the things their friends w/2 working parents have, and now seeing that my income w/be cut almost in half to start repaying my loans. I feel like my life has turned into a kind of sad joke. I didn't think this was what my choice to better myself by going to college would result in.
Voila 713,
I just found this site so forgive my lateness. I can relate to your situation. I'm not divorced and I don't have kids, but I feel the same way about my decisions to go to college. It was supposed to give us all this opportunity. Instead we're financially ruined. My husband, like your fiance, didn't finish college, and although he doesn't make a lot of money, is very financially stable with no debt. None. My biggest fear is ruining his credit. Keep your head up, I'm trying to keep mine up too.
Whenever I think about my situation I don't see a point in living. I have 76k in student loans, both fed and private, graduated summer '09 with an engineering(EET) and unable to find a job. I come from an abusive family and my only hope was to finish college, get a job, and move out. Unfortunately I'm stuck with my parents and my dad has been trying to kick me out since I was 19, doesn't wanna take responsibility for having me and my siblings. I stayed coz I wasn't able to move out. I worked part time during college I had many health issues, panic attack, stress... still somehow I got my degree after a lot of struggling and praying. Now I'm 26yrs old, can't find a job. Did some temp jobs that only lasted 2-3 weeks at a time. My fiance broke up with me coz of the debt and no job ( i was supposed to get married this may:-( ). I won't blame him, who wants to be in that situation. Basically, dad's trying to kick me out, I'm freaking out, unemployed, no one to help me, broke as hell... I think I'll have a heart attack soon... so I don't think there's marriage or kids in my future... I shouldn't have gone to college!!!!
Dear hopeless,
Please read my my blog at Education, Student Loans and (F)utility. You will find that we have a very similar story and that you are not alone. (I recommend that you start reading at the beginning of my blog to get the whole picture).
Keep your chin up and when you have gathered the strength start fighting back with all of us. Together we can make a difference!
Warmest Regards,
J. Densmore
I have over 150K in Student loans with 100K in federal. Because I am married, my husband's income is counted in calculating my IBR payment. I only make 38K in my public service job. Basically, almost all of my income goes to paying my student loans. I am on extended repayment at $460 a month because my standard payment would be over $1200 a month or my IBR payment would be $880. Basically, I am screwed. I will not qualify for the loan forgiveness for public servants because I am on extended repayment, but I cannot afford to pay any other way.
I just did my taxes for this year and tried filing married but separate and the IRS wanted me to pay $5000 in taxes where filing together I get a refund. I also would not have gotten credit for having a child or for the $7000 I spent in daycare this year. I cannot believe how this system is working! My husband covers the health insurance and the daycare so his check is as low as mine.
There does not appear to be anything to help someone in my situation. We would really like to have another child and do some work on our house but after our current bills (which are modest) there is nothing left.
The IBR and the ICR is discriminatory against married individuals because filing separately prevents you from receiving your student loan interest credit, your child credit, child care credit, etc. List goes on . . .
I know it doesn't help but it's feels good to know there are others out there in this situation. Mine is probably worse then yours. Trying going to grad school with kids, then getting divorced and being stuck with the loan debt (yes, my ex could have taken half but I had savings and retirement money she didn't get...but even that is dwindling).
Now I have found someone I truly love and want to marry but I can't afford my loans and child support, and the odds of us having a kid (she has one from a previous marriage) is next to impossible. There is no work out there and even if I do work all my money will go towards the loan and support payments.
I'm in a constant state of stress and depression and it isn't healthy. Like most I drank the law school Kool-Aid and thought great things were ahead, instead it has been a debacle. My gf never went to college, has a great job and makes good money, and I'm the one bringing her down with all my "education". It's ridiculous
The student loans haven't stopped us from having our second child (although it will probably hinder the prospect of more children). I do find a great deal of joy in my kids and if the student loans got me even part way there then the loans were worthwhile. However...now I want to provide a good home and a good education for my kids and the loan payments are preventing that to some degree. My wife and I owned houses since we were married only six year ago. Now, however, we live with family in an effort to combine expenses and to help all of us through this struggle. The loans have put off my ability to own my own home again but would not keep me from trying under the right circumstances. Life goes on with or without the student loans and we'll all make it work one way or another. It would, however, be nice if we didn't have to MAKE it work...much better if we just LET it work. Removing these loans would seriously help that process.
Luckily, my wife is a nurse, and had her tuition paid for 100% between grants, scholarships, and help from her family. If she had the same situation as me; an MBA, BS in Architecture, and $75K of student loan debt, we would have never had the money to pay for a wedding.
We do have a baby girl and I want to tell everyone holding off on starting a family for financial reasons, there are more important things in life. When we are all on our deathbeds, will we regret the fact that we let student loan debt kept us from starting a family? I know we would.
Of course this requires some sacrifice - I no longer eat out or take unnecessary trips to stores, malls, etc. But to come home every night to see my baby will always trump those material things. If I ever needed to default on my loans to provide for her, I would in a heartbeat, no matter the cost to my decent 730 Credit Score.
Family should always come first. F the loan collectors and banksters for controlling our lives through the vehicle of debt. Their days are numbered as more and more young people rise to the occasion and demand more accountability and justice from our leaders and these corporate slave drivers. Keep the pressure on, write your congressmen and other officials and let your voice be heard!!
Student loan debt has delayed my life, period.
I'm a full 15 years behind my peers in terms of buying a house and starting a family. When I die, there will be nothing to pass on, either, because I'll be paying these damned loans well into retirement!
When talking about marriage, what woman wants to marry a guy who can't even pay his bills? I just managed to get married a year ago, at the age of 40, and it wasn't for lack of trying, it was because I simply wasn't stable enough.
As for kids, I would never have gone to college if I knew it was going to kill a generation of my family line. I use the word "kill" deliberately, because I'm only now in the position to have kids, and I'm in my forties. Whether you say "lost", "delayed" or "killed", it's all the same, in effect. That's a whole generation gone...I'm going to be raising my own grandchildren.
I often wonder if it's even ethical to have kids now, knowing that I'll be in my late 60s when they're in high school. Both of my parents died young, so there's no guarantee that I'll even make it to see them graduate high school, let alone college.
YES IT HAS! I know I am currently unemployed (thank you Bush and Obama) but I also know kids are expensive, houses are too, and unless a really high-end job comes my way to allow me for rapid repayment, My personal goals are on hold. I cannot commit to having kids or even consider a house as long as I know that when the recession finally gives and I finally nail a job half of what I work for will disappear before I even get it. Kids need economic stability. Too many kids turn to lives of crime and gangs due to a lack of it. The difference between the civilized and the uncivilized 3rd world is that a rational person knows better to bring life into this world without being prepared to take care of that life (ugly and harsh but unfortunately true and is the worst economic paradox today).
Without a doubt. See my post on my situation...Add depression to the causes as well. I won't get into a serious relationship because of my student loan debt! Too much burden for the other person IMHO.
I incurred student loan debt going to school full time. However, it has been 8 years since I finished my Master"s, and I am now 43 years old ... debt consolidation
I graduated in the top 10% of my college class, then went to law school because I wanted a solid career and solid income because I wanted a family so badly. $86,000 worth of debt later, after much studying and hard work (graduated 9th in my law school class) (no grants for me as my parents had stable income, although they could not help me pay for school... and debt notwithstanding the fact that I often worked two jobs while attending college full time), I still cannot have a family or even have ANY extra money from my paycheck. I pay $800 per month toward my student loans... with no end in sight... it is truly a sad situation. It is almost as if I am punished for trying to better myself. Looking back, I am not so sure I would have even pursued this career had I known the ultimate cost.
I actually was just denied in a 'pre-approval' only a few weeks ago. And while I'm no where near ready to have kids, it is stopping me from getting married because we just can't afford it.
If you wait for the perfect conditions to get married you will die single. Same with children. It is important to make sure you can provide but if you wait for the "perfect" financial position it may never happen.
I'm always looking for ways to save and just signed up for the blair rewards program to save money on every day purchases. At the end of the month and year it really adds up.
I have been denied housing because of my credit history. I have been denied employment, loans to get partial dentures. My credit history has been ruined by the US Department of Education. If it requires a credit check I won't pass it. Not to be Miss Doom & Gloom but why is when you have offsets and payments, and garnishment that these payments are never posted to your account showing that you have been paying something towards the debt? If my taxpayer money was good enough to bailout millionaires, why can't some be used for me and the rest of my new friends on this site?
due to 14,000 dollars in loans, which are now 30,000, (several staffords, (8 or 9) each on credit report, near the lowest possible score rating) =
-no chance (ever now?) home loan
-laughed off car lots (even though stable employment)
-900 deposit required for a cellular phone
-cant rent an apartment in my name
-lost a job that a headhunter found for me -- (i was hired, then fired before start date with no explanation)**
**i believe a credit check was responsible (60k a year job + health ins/401k)
-feel like a burden to a potential wife, so i really dont get out much socially any more.
(i thought this was my big break.... to straighten things out)
The only positives financially for me are no credit cared debt (cant get those).
and I have a bank account. wewt!!!
Waiting for the Craigslist ad "women for men" stating... :
Looking for a Great Guy, who's honest, good sense of humor, who knows how to treat a Lady, and looking for the real deal ! Student loan debtors OK.
lol
*****************************
IT Pro, age 30+ (lots of certifications, no degree) (the sun is still shining though... Im really getting to know my stuff in the field, and am still working hard towards my big break)
That is a good thing for you cuz after 7 years your credit report is clean, providing you dont make a payment yourself which would start the 7 years over again.
Source? thanks : )
That's the only reason why I don't have the things I want most, a family with a house and kids. A few years back you could have had all that with a crappy full time job, now you have to be Steve Jobs.
I can't get what I want the most either. I have a wonderful boyfriend, who would marry me, but the debt is too much for us to take on. I can't afford kids at this rate, and I'm only getting older! I'm 32 and still no kids. What's going to happen when I hit 36 and can't have kids?
I was recently engaged and my fiance is thinking twice because of my loan debt. I could not afford rent, my college loans, car payment, and the usual bills on a 45,000 salary. There is something wrong with the loan system. We take loans out because we have to and we call it an investment into our future. I am educated but do not see this investemet assisting with my future because I can't even afford to live with an average american income.
Most kids have loans from college and it will take awhile to pay off. I am up for a good job just this week. So hopefully, my finances will get better and I can end my worry about paying the bills and try to help Scott out a little more.
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I am 45. I never married until this March because they used to include your spouse and made them responsible for your loans too. I put off having a baby, a family, a decent car, a nice home, a private practice, investing for retirement and anything else you can name that people supposedly do when they get older.
Because of what I owe in student loans I'll never be able to purchase a home when you factor in the debt to income ratio. My student loan payments are just to high to qualify for a home. I have no idea if this website will help but it sure can't hurt.
i can't start a family! My boyfriend won't marry me because of my excessive debt, that he doesn't want on his credit. So, how in the world am I ever going to have a family if I can't start one? My student loans will never be paid off before I leave this world. Going to school ruined my life!!!!
I had children when I started college. I was a single mom struggling to make ends meet. Now, I am married, we both work (he has one job I have two) and we still can't afford to get out of debt! We don't overspend, live on a budget and support my ailing father. I went to college to better my life. I have entered a trade school to become a transcriptionist so I can earn extra money for health insurance (we are both self employed -- thank you very much for nothing Obama!) and pay for my student loans and accumlated debt for getting through school and just being able to live, cancel the live remark, survive. I wanted so much to help my children (I have six by the way and yes, I know wanted each one). I chose a great profession (counseling) but unfortunately in these times when you pay for what you have to have to have then my profession suffers. My husband does renovations, again, not much call for it unless you have money. We both thought since we have lived in Katrina Land prior to the hurricane our skills would be in high demand...they are....no one has money to pay for our services.
We are good people who have managed well with what we have but when you talk about a student loan payment in excess of 1000$ (I went to grad school) and a house note (helping my father financially) helping out a married son and one who is trying also desperately to repay student loans and can't afford to live on his own, what is left? He is trying to avoid defaulting and so am I...debt forgiveness, absolutely. I would even volunteer a few hours a week at a local shelter with my counseling services to have my debt forgiven. My son is a chef and would gladly volunteer to cook for fund raisers to help pay off his debt. I am all about trade work for debt relief. I realise nothing is free and feel it's good exchange. I've had my degree almost 10 years and still haven't made a dent in my loans. Look at what your profession makes and then judge for yourself if you're going to make it.
Life is on hold for students and graduates....stop helping so many big businesses and start helping those who need it....the ones you promised to help in the first place Obama.
I live in a very old house. Although I own it, I can't afford to fix it up. If I didn't have student loans, I could move into a more modern house. I am 44yrs old, isn't this the time where things are supposed to be easier. I've worked my whole life, when exactly is it going to be my time. For now, though everytime there is a strong wind, I cringe wondering what will be falling off of my house this time (literally, I am not kidding). Alas, since my loans won't be paid off until I am 72, eventually, I will be living in a house missing many, many parts.
My fiancee and I are getting married in August. Of course, we are getting the "when you guys havin kids" question all the time. We have been out of school for a little more than two and three years; we are working our ways up our respective ladders, and are making pretty good money. However, our student loan payments will be increasing soon, and the thought of kids on top of our student loans, car, and home payments is just not enjoyable. My parents just finished paying off their student loans, and you can see that the stress of that debt is gone, and they are starting to be able to enjoy their money. Oh, did I mention that they have been paying them since before I was alive; I'm 26! I have two younger brothers as well, 25 (just graduated and swimming in debt) and 17 -- I fear for my youngest bro, as the cost of school is only going to increase as he pursues his education. My parents are great, I appreciate the lessons they taught me about money, I admire what they have accomplished, but I DO NOT WANT TO PAY FOR SCHOOL 30 YEARS AFTER THE FACT - DON'T WANT TO HAVE TO DO WHAT THEY DID. How is anyone expected to save for their kids' educations if they are still paying for their own? My parents couldn't do it, so I had to take out loans, and that nasty cycle will continue to happen as the cost of tuition increases. If all student debt was to be forgiven, then maybe we could set up a 529/"College Fund" for our kids, and the need for student financing would decrease. IF COMPANIES THAT HEDGED THEIR BETS ON GARBAGE INVESTMENTS, THAT THEY KNEW WERE GARBAGE, CAN BE FORGIVEN; THEN WHY CAN'T THOSE THAT GOT AN EDUCATION TO HELP BETTER THEMSELVES/SOCIETY GET A LITTLE LOVE? THIS IS A GREAT PROPOSAL, I SUPPORT IT 100%!!!! Forgiving student loan debt would fix a lot of problems we are seeing as an economy -- i.e. one's income to debt ratio would be significantly lower, thus allowing more people to get approved for mortgages/car loans, essentially providing a much needed boost to our housing and auto markets. COULD FORGIVING STUDENT LOAN DEBT SAVE THE WORLD????
I'm getting married in a few weeks. My soon to be spouse and I are both deeply in debt-student loan debt. We know that we can't afford to have children because of this debt. At this rate, we won't ever be able to retire, either. Student loan payments take what would have been spent toward 401k savings and even a regular emergency savings. If I have an emergency that will cost more than my credit card limit, I'm in trouble. I agree with the other posts that I feel like I have been tricked. I achieved higher education as I was told by society I needed to do in order to be productive and live the American Dream and instead I became a slave to student loan debt that I can't get rid of. If I could give back my degrees and get my loan debt cancelled, I'd do it. My friends that didn't go to college spent that time working their way up in their jobs and make more than I do with an MBA-AND no student loans to pay! It isn't just the student loan banks taking advantage either. The school tuition is way too high to start with and textbook costs are outrageous. It seems that textbooks get "revised" every year, often only rearranging chapters or adding a paragraph or two, in order to keep students from being able to buy used textbooks cheaper. It's a joke.
I tried really hard to get into medical school.. luckily I got scholarships and financial aid to cover my undergrad loans but my masters loans totals around $30k. I didn't mind, b/c I wanted to become a doctor and I could pay that back easily w/ my doctor salary... and then when I finally got into medical school, after 1.5 years I dropped out because I had a change of heart. Now I'm over 140k in debt and after being unemployed and living w/ my parents for the past year, I just got a job for like 2 months. It's hard to find a job when your undergraduate and graduate degrees were all geared towards you being a doctor. now my payments are over 1k a month and that's with me begging them to extend it to 25 years. all the federal loans are at an interest rate of 6.8 to 8.5.
My issue is that I don't want to pay that much each month when I could give it to my family. My parents are getting old, I give them 1k a month so that they don't worry about me (they don't know what debt I'm in) and also b/c they need it too. My aunt & uncle have one kid and another on the way and they can barely afford baby supplies, so I buy what they need for the kids every month (I spend around $500/month) and I budget myself $400 a month to live on. I work in a fancy corporate office but I drive an old 1997 corolla (all my friends drive brand new cars), I eat out twice a month, I never buy lunch, and I buy clearance clothing from discount stores only. I don't mind that I appear "poor", I always think to myself no one went through the same experience as I did so they can judge all they want but they don't know anything about me. I don't talk about my medical school flub so this is the first time I'm really talking about it to anyone.
At the moment I don't want to think much more about my situation (ie. considering having kids, family, house, car etc.) but I really wish all that money going to my school loans, I could give more of it to my family. Like my parents who haven't taken a vacation in decades.. or my aunt who's 7 months pregnant right now but she still has to work at a nail salon doing people's feet b/c she needs the money. I'm trying to think of ways for her to stop working and take a longer maternity leave but I don't know how she can.
after reading everyone else's situation, I feel so sad that we're going through this together. I really want to be out of debt. Or at least have some of it forgiven. I look at my spending every day, its so stressing that I can't technically buy what I want.. It's sad when I see my bosses making the 200k+ salaries and they look so young and refreshed. I feel this stress and worry is going to age me 10 years too early.